A Funny Thing Happened . . . . .

So the first part of this week was full of dinner with members, I hated food after that, they’re out of control here ‘Coma mais coma mais’ I can’t coma any mais I’m going to pop!!! Those were my sentiments. (The verb to eat is comer and then it’s a command and so you come out with coma for eat!) Anywho the food is really good here or at least our members and investigators can cook. So Monday night we went to a member’s house, with Claudia and played my little prophet memory match with them that was fun, trying to get them prepped for conference. Then Tuesday we went with the Elders to their investigators home with Claudia and they marked Berta and Marlane (mother and daughter) for baptism, so if all goes well we’ll have another baptism on Oct. 18th yay! Anywho earlier that day we ate with Irmã Helena she’s a little African (Mozambic) lady who is always giving us things, bolos, cough drops, candies, ect. Then she makes sure you eat all of it. So we went to her house and it’s a sad little cluttered house, she’s a massive pack rat. Anywho, first she comes in and takes off her shirt in front of us, saying how hot it is, then she starts putting this giant pan in her bag, I’m like what is she doing, who puts a cooking pan into their purse, but then she takes it out and puts it into her sack and I. Svedin and I were like what the snap is going on, so then she tells us to vamos (lets go) so I’m like maybe she’s going to cook something at the church, no she takes us to this little café. The sad thing is we already had lunch that day, but we sit down and get this plate of pork loins (they’re massive) with egg on top and greasy soggy French fries then a salad that consists of scary looking tomatoes and onions and a little bit of lettuce, oh and rice, they eat rice with everything I’m telling you. So it’s good we serve ourselves and I’m working to get the meat eaten, I’m like I can finish this telling myself I can do it, when all of a sudden she starts piling more food on our plates, and it’s just way greasy and oily and I’m like no way am I eating that so I did the missionary move the food around your plate and pile it on top of each other trick...So the next day we made the mistake of going over there, to see if the Elders needed help cleaning her house, she invited us in and made us eat cake and kept giving us 7up, everytime we’d drink some she’d pour more. I. Svedin doesn’t like pop and the carbonation was hurting her, so she asked Elder Tysick to take hers, she’s pouring it in and spilled it all over his arm and the floor and so she’s wiping up the floor but teeny little I. Helena like 4’9’’ freaks out and grabs her broom and was like NO don’t clean stop and that makes Elder Tysick laugh and spill more, I’m just sitting back and laughing I wish you all could have seen this. Anywho we finally get out and she’s like wait, and brings back a little glittery golden change purse for I. Svedin and then she’s like wait again. And comes back with an envelope, now I. Svedin was wise to this because with Claudia (she went to Cape Verde) I. Helena stuffed an envelope with money in her back. Claudia’s like No Irmã! Anyway so I. Svedin like tries to give her bag to the Elders because she thought she was going to do the same thing to her, but this little old lady is keen to Irmã Svedin and chases after her and shoves the money down her shirt and then just picks up the bag and hands it to me and walks back to her home, I. Svedin was standing there shocked, and the Elders had their jaws hanging down it was hilarious.